Inspired

I find myself in the rather odd position of being inspired to lose weight – by myself. My younger self, that is. I remember co-workers telling me before that I was their inspiration, and while I was flattered by it, I didn’t quite understand it until now.

You may be wondering why I want to lose weight, considering the nature of this blog. The short version of the story is that when I had met my goal, my hormones got thrown off, so a few years ago I purposefully gained back 10 pounds to see if that would help get my body back on track. Sadly, it didn’t, but I’ve been lax about trying to lose those 10 pounds again. I kept thinking that I should, and now and then I’d lose a couple of pounds, but then just gain it back because I wasn’t being deliberate about it. I’d forgotten how to lose weight, remembering only how to maintain it.

Starting this writing process, though, I’ve decided that I really do want to lose that weight back. It doesn’t sound like much, but in someone my height, it can make a difference. For one thing, I haven’t been able to comfortably wear some of my clothes for a few years now. With the example of my earlier thoughts and actions clearly before me, I have no excuse not to proceed.

I therefore began this new process a couple of weeks ago, and I’m down 3 pounds. That feels good, but more interesting is that I’m remembering, now, what it feels like to lose weight, and what it takes. Some of it’s obvious – slowly reducing the number of calories I consume, adding in a little more exercise – but still, I needed the reminder. The timing could not be more perfect. This gives me renewed insight into what it was like before, while also helping me now.

Some of the things I’d forgotten are that I actually feel better in many ways when I eat less. My energy is more consistent, and I can stay focused more easily. I realize that my body can survive quite well on less food, although it feels strange to not eat so much. I keep thinking that I should need more, which is a dangerous line to walk; if I succumb to the feelings of “should”, I forget what’s actually necessary. What helps is that after the first few days of my body being upset with me for decreasing its intake, I’m no longer as hungry, and I’m satisfied with lesser amounts. I’m also less tempted by sweets that happen to be around, or to snack in the evening.

All of this I knew intimately 10 years ago, and it’s a little disturbing how easy it was to forget. It makes me all the more glad that I am writing this, thinking that if it can inspire me, when it’s something I should already know, it will hopefully do the same for others.